Hello again

I know it's been a while. My intention when I started this blog (I actually started it a few months ago but didn't launch it until December) was to do a weekly post. Sunday night, I was going to set aside time for myself to write about all my feels from the week and all the hilarious shit that happened. And now here we are, a month+ later, and that clearly did not take place.

To be honest, I've just needed a break. I've been quiet on here...quiet on social media. January brought new challenges with heading back to work, online learning for junior kindergarten (which is an absolute shit show btw), and my body coming to the realization that it was no longer pregnant. It sucked and I feel like I'm barely getting through the days. I'm putting on a brave face, struggling to stay focused, and trudging through the daily list of things to-do. My depression and anxiety have been all over the place, coupled with physical and mental healing from the loss.

It was also my birthday over the holidays. I had a blog post drafted to reflect on my last few days as a 37-year-old. But my birthday kept creeping closer, and as I tried to reflect on my 37th year, I found myself either numb or overcome with grief. By the time I was starting to come out of the fog, my birthday had come and gone, and I had switched my focus to making positive changes in my daily life to be healthier and happier. I even had a super awesome post planned for my "new years resolutions". Kind of a "kiss my ass" type thing cuz I don't really do resolutions. I didn't finish any of it.

And even though this post talks a lot about all the things I haven't done, I'm okay with that, and that in itself is a huge step. It weighs on me when I don't accomplish things or get everything done that I set out to do. I have to work very hard at resting, making time for myself and caring for myself physically and mentally. So the idea that things are sitting, undone, and I've been consciously taking time for myself, is a different kind of win. Maybe you'll see me next Sunday. Or maybe you won't.

Lindsay, aka Sassy Mother

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